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glumshoe:

nangbaby:

glumshoe:

nangbaby:

mistressofallthingsgeeky:

glumshoe:

nangbaby:

glumshoe:

nangbaby:

glumshoe:

Bro, what you don’t seem to understand is that human engagement is voluntary. If somebody makes you uncomfortable, you don’t have to spend time with or talk to them—nor do they have to spend time or talk with you. Friendship is not formed out of guilt-tripping or coercing people into talking or spending time with you. It just… happens. Friendship is mutually rewarding and sometimes it’s hard to establish, but if you go into interactions with your fists swinging and the conviction that you’re doomed to failure, you’re ending friendships before they can even begin.

You seem to have a lot of baggage about something. It sounds like you had one or several negative reactions to something you’ve said and have internalized that to mean that you’re being discriminated against and the world is against you.

Consider: kissing. Many people enjoy kissing, but only in specific circumstances, with specific people, and in specific ways. A big wet sloppy smooch and a chaste peck on the cheek are qualitatively different; someone who enjoys one might not enjoy the other. I enjoy kissing my romantic partner, but I have no desire to kiss my bank teller. This is not because I hate my bank teller. I am not cruelly excluding my bank teller from a smoochathon. The universe has not singled out my bank teller as undeserving of love. It’s simply the fact that individuals and relationships and situations are not interchangeable.

Likewise, I enjoy complaining with my friends about things that we all agree on, which aren’t truly important. I don’t enjoy my enemies complaining about things that I like or which are important to me. That’s why my friends are my friends and my enemies are my enemies.

Human engagement is not voluntary when you’re in public and you initiate a complaint. The act of speaking has changed the dynamics of engagement. Even if I don’t hear the complaint, just the act of speaking in my presence fundamentally changes the situation where everyone remains silent. That’s why it’s considered polite to wait quietly.

In your post you were using complaining as a bonding experience. Maybe I commnunicate as an attempt to bond. I don’t believe I should be treated any differently than anyone else. Alternately, if my complaining is harmful, then by definition, so is yours, as I am a believer in equality and reciprocity.

I have no desire to kiss anyone or be kissed. I treat everyone the same way provided they do not harm me, as I’m neither two-faced nor purposely discriminating. If you do harm me, then I will treat you differently until you’re held accountable for that harm. I am discriminated against, societally and otherwise.

My friends are people who support me. My enemies are people who have harmed me. It’s that simple. I complain because I want to and have the freedom to. As an equal human being, I should be treated the same way as you or anyone else is are treated just by virtue of existing.

look I’m sorry but I have no fucking idea what you’re on about

someone complaining about the lack of pockets on their dress is fundamentally different from someone complaining about how women shouldn’t be allowed to vote, and strangers blocking you on tumblr because you’re being creepy and manipulative and have no boundaries is not even a little bit comparable to racism:

As a woman of color, I have experienced racism, thank you very much.

My point is complaining is complaining and putting these artificial distinctions “for fun” to make it acceptable is a way of devaluing people with “serious” complaints. Since our suffering isn’t shared, then you don’t want to hear it, but people are expected to bond over pockets. Why can’t people bond over both?

That you use complaints to only include some mean you exclude others.

This is pretty straightforward.

I still have no idea what the hell you’re trying to say. Let’s try exploring this through story mode:

You go to the park. Two people are sitting on a bench. The first person says to the other, “Jee whiz, no one knows how to drive anymore. Have turn signals gone out of fashion?” 

The other person laughs and sarcastically replies, “It’s true. Millennials are killing the safe driving industry.”

These people are friends. They are enjoying themselves, and not trying to upset anyone. They are complaining mostly to entertain each other. They could complain about many other, more serious topics, but right now they are in a good mood and don’t want to think about their student debt or a scary diagnosis or the stalker who followed them home last week. Maybe they will discuss those things later, when they are in the right state of mind for it–it’s entirely possible that they will bond over shared traumas, but right not they’re just joking around.

It seems like you suggesting that these people have harmed and excluded you simply by speaking to each other. People are allowed to have friendships that do not include you; they’re allowed to talk to each other and enjoy themselves even if you can see them doing so, just as you are allowed to talk with your friends and enjoy yourself without involving every passing stranger in your business. if someone bothers you, you are allowed to walk away from them. Being in public is not a moral obligation to interact with everyone who wants your attention.

@glumshoe is correct. Just because you hear a conversation does not give you the right to intrude upon it. If you see a person in public, you can try to strike up a conversation and be friendly, but if what you are saying makes them uncomfortable, they have every right to begin ignoring you and walk away. The complaints made amongst friends is different than that between two strangers in that there is a bond, a familiarity between friends–they know the boundaries and how far they can push them. Going into somebody’s blog and saying something they don’t agree with, and then turning around and complaining when they block you and call you out for your faulty logic is, in all regards, socially unacceptable and rude. Friendship cannot be forced, and you have to read the room and understand that there will be differences of opinion. While it is true that those in power should do everything they can to be inclusionary, @nangbaby, what gave you the impression that bringing this complaint to @glumshoe​ was appropriate? They hold no political office, have no secret way of making their voice heard more loudly and clearly than any others, yet you seem to have singled them out simply because they chose not to interact with you over something? Nobody is required to interact with anybody. It’s called free will, and if you think that you are somehow entitled to be included in everything, even when you have no bond or relationship with the other individuals involved, I suggest you see a psychiatrist, because that would indicate a deeper problem linked to a lack of self esteem or worth, as well as projection of your own self image onto those around you in order to mask your own feelings of inadequacy.

Again, they can take the action to walk away.  They don’t have to put a gag on my mouth as they start spreading lies about how the woman who approached them in the park is a serial killer and everyone should ignore her.  But that’s what people in power who block do?

What gives @glumshoe more power than me, aside from the obvious societal advantage?

That you are arguing for him and lending him your power.  I’m one of me and an I am defending my right to exist against you telling me, I’m mentally ill for wanting to be treated as an equal human being.

That alone puts him in a position of power over me.

…you came onto my post and into my inbox to tell me I was a toxic person discriminating against you–a person I’ve never spoken to in my entire life–for hypothetically complaining about the depth of pockets 

what are you FUCKING talk about 

I asked, “Why is it acceptable for people to belittle, threaten, and denigrate me for complaining and shutting me down for complaining, but not acceptable for me to reduce stress or have fun complaining?”

Your answer was to belittle, threaten, and denigrate me for complaining and shut me down for complaining.

That’s what I’m talking about.

When the fuck did this happen? I don’t know who you are. We do not have a relationship or history of any kind. I never said it was ok for people to belittle/threaten/denigrate you, and I sure as fuck did not do any of those things. The extent of our interaction has been me trying to explain why communication is important.

If you think that me saying “setting interpersonal boundaries is okay” is a threat, you have bigger problems than being blocked by the people you harass on Tumblr. GO OUTSIDE. Have a drink of water! Eat a nutrient, for fuck’s SAKE.

the-tired-tenor:

rainbow-femme:

yorunokatana:

owlinadayswork:

rainbow-femme:

rainbow-femme:

rainbow-femme:

When my mom and aunt were younger my aunt was in high school and my mom in middle school. A group of girls were bullying my aunt and one slapped her in the lunch room. The principal met with my grandma and the other mom. He said they weren’t punishing the other girl because he didn’t get involved in “girl problems.” My grandma asked if that meant my aunt could retaliate the next time it happened and he said no then it would be a fight and they’d both get in trouble.

So my grandma turned away from him and to the other mom and said “I have another daughter. She doesn’t go to this school and she’s a star softball player with her own bat. You can tell your daughter to stop bothering mine or you can drive her to the hospital with a shattered jaw. That’s your choice.” And walked out.

Few months later that girl stole a necklace from my aunt. My grandma called the cops and they all drove to her house to get it back. The cop came outside with it and said he told the family my grandma wouldn’t press charges if they gave it back. My grandma took the necklace and said “Then you’re going to have to go in and tell them you lied because I am pressing charges. She’s a thief and I want her treated like one.”

My grandma was a single mom in the 70s with two daughters and she took no shit from men who tried to undermine her and her daughters.

She also got excommunicated and then re-communicated after bothering the Vatican enough to let her back in

She doesn’t even like being Catholic and is Episcopalian now. It was more of a “You can’t fire me, I quit!” which is even better, at least to me

op im begging you for more stories

Please @rainbow-femme​ more? Pretty please?

Ok here’s some more.

She was a nurse up until recently (finally retired after trying and failing 4 times)

She got into it a little later in life and worked as an army nurse for a while before working regularly as a hospital nurse.

Most of the other nurses were either also new and young and did what they were told or older and experienced and were used to being bullied by the doctors. As she had dealt with soldiers and had to learn to tell army dudes what to do, she had no interest in letting doctors treat her less than them.

At her hospital the doctors would go into a room looking for something, ransack it, then leave it messy for a nurse to clean up. The first time one tried that on her she stood in the door and said he wasn’t leaving until he cleaned his mess. He tried to say he was busy and couldn’t take the time to clean and she said if someone started dying she’d let him know, and didn’t move until he cleaned his mess.

She became a terror to the doctors who she did not let give any shit. If she paged a doctor and he didn’t come right away, he needed a good reason and lying wouldn’t work because the nurses would tattle and say he was doing a crossword and ignored her, so if she paged they had to go after her or else she’d yell at them.

One time in particular a doctor was chatting with a nurse and didn’t notice she’d paged him five times. When he realized he went running down the hall, saying “Out of my way, [name] is mad at me!”

When my moms gallbladder was inflamed and near bursting after my brother was born, she went to my grandmas hospital. They told her she was fine and to wait, while she was on the floor holding her stomach and crying. My dad called my grandma and told her the situation so she marched down to the ER and said “That’s my daughter, what time today can you get her in for surgery?” When they tried to say they thought she should go home my grandma wouldn’t let them. Luckily they got her into surgery in time to avoid it bursting.

During the AIDS crisis, she also bullied the other nurses who would refuse to treat anyone with AIDS. She said if you treat smokers who gave themselves lung cancer you don’t get to turn around and say you won’t help an AIDS patient who you blamed for contracting the disease. Her favorite patient from that time was a man who got it from doing drugs that she took care of regularly. He had a cat named Speed Ball and he would bring in pictures to show her.

Your grandma sounds metal as fuck and I aspire to be 1/10th the human being she is.

kendallroy:

kendallroy:

kendallroy:

also with all due respect the main reason the left loses so much is that y’all refuse to compromise on the language and messaging you use to speak to voters. i swear if you rebranded “defund the police” as “invest in community safety from the ground up” most white suburban moderates would be like “that sounds great” and i know that because that’s how i’ve literally reframed it to white suburban moderates who think “defund the police” means we’re going to live in a scary lawless mad max world

like maybe it comes across as mealy-mouthed and corny to people steeped in online cynicism but just to be clear, this is the country that wouldn’t eat french fries after 9/11 so we renamed them “freedom fries” and everyone was suddenly cool again. americans are not, by and large, super sophisticated about this stuff

okay, so, as a followup…. basically, i joined this “christians against trump” fb group for a work research project in 2017 and just ended up never leaving, bc it turned out to be such a great experiment in just… observing and listening and talking to people and figuring out the language that works! so like, as a basic glossary for talking to the well-meaning anti-trump moderate dems in your life about progressive policies:

• instead of “defund the police,” say “invest in community safety” and emphasize things like participatory budgeting giving you power over where YOUR taxes go and reallocating funds to after-school programs, social services, and food pantries
• instead of “abolish ice,” say “immigration reform” and “create a new agency for immigration and citizenship services” 
• instead of “medicare for all,” say “universal health care” or even just really harp on making healthcare affordable and accessible to everyone
• instead of “the green new deal” (which was a great piece of messaging in the first place before it became inextricably tied up with aoc’s theatrics), talk about what an effective piece of climate legislation will create, not what it will destroy. when you say “ban fracking” or “ban fossil fuels” or “reduce methane emissions in agriculture” people go “YOU WON’T TAKE MY JOB OR MY FARTING COWS.” climate is really an area where being able to reframe it through the language of capitalism helps. say “let’s give tax breaks to farmers, especially small family farms who are already being squeezed out by the big guys, so they can invest in the future of their business” and other noise-shaped air stuff like that. instead of “ban fracking” talk about the jobs that renewable energy will create in communities that have been left behind by our reliance on foreign oil. i mean, fuck, the phrase “climate change” can be a real problem when you’re talking to the whole country because of how effective the “climate and weather are the same things” and “climate change is a hoax” disinfo campaigns have been over the past 20 years or so - but when you talk about “conserving our natural resources” and all that teddy roosevelt, ranger rick shit, it just comes across different. 
• instead of “abortion rights”…. listen, you know i hate equivocating about abortion but at the end of the day, when you’re talking to people who are probably anti-abortion for religious reasons but will still vote democrat because they’re not a single-issue anti-abortion voter, don’t say “abortion (on demand without apology etc),” say “the constitutional right to privacy” or “the right to make personal medical decisions without the government intervening.” fearmonger about attacks on abortion the way sarah palin fearmongered about how obamacare would lead to “death panels” deciding whether your grandma would live or die! and if you’re talking to someone who just doesn’t feel that strongly about abortion because yada yada roe is settled who cares, talk about how “empowering women to decide when they start a family fuels economic growth and leads to more wanted children growing up in stable, happy two-parent homes” and so on. 
• inversely, instead of “abolish the death penalty,” talk about “saving the lives of the innocent” and “an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind” if you’re talking to a christian and honestly just look at the libertarian arguments against the death penalty and ape some of those - cost to the taxpayer, high wrongful conviction rates as a reflection of government incompetence. honestly, the libertarian right is frequently aligned with the left on criminal justice issues and i know we all love to dunk on libertarians but the language they use is pretty appealing to moderates who might be coming from a more conservative background or region where it’s just normal
• instead of “democratic socialism,” just talk about, like, values - ending poverty and hunger, living wages and better educational opportunities, creating jobs and protecting ordinary working people and families and putting money back in their pockets and creating a stable economy. people really do vote based on kitchen table issues and you can really make a moral appeal on the rest.
• instead of “tax the rich,” say “cut taxes.” period. never talk about raising taxes. not on the rich, not on the middle class, not for any reason whatsoever, even if you’re saying “if we raise taxes on billionaires we can give everyone a pony.” i don’t care how much you want to tax billionaires, don’t fucking bring it up. i hate bezos as much as everyone but we live in america, where everyone is simply a temporarily embarrassed billionaire and convinced that taxing the ultra-rich will somehow hurt them too. don’t expect middle-of-the-road normies to get on board with the “i’ll pay more taxes if it means other people have health care” thing you see from avowed liberals and lefties, because they will not, i’m sorry. frankly *****i***** have no interest in paying more taxes because nyc already taxes you out the nose regardless of where you are on the socioeconomic scale and if someone suggested i should pay more, even if it meant paying less on private services in the long run, i would simply be like, “nope!” so like, yeah, obviously the goal is to eliminate corporate tax loopholes and tax the ultra-rich at a higher rate while cutting tax burdens on everyone else, but what you want to say is stuff like “small business owners shouldn’t pay more in taxes than the companies like apple and amazon that are already squeezing them out” and “we’ll cut taxes and frivolous government spending,” period, no embellishment. “making american companies pay american taxes” is a succinct catchphrase i like to use. 
• instead of “defund/spend less on the military,” say “why is the government spending so much on building outdated outdated tanks and submarines from 50 years ago and so little on services for veterans? we need to revitalize our military spending so that we can spend less on safer, more modern equipment, preserve those manufacturing jobs, and make sure that veterans get the health care and job opportunities they deserve.” get it? like, republicans have been selling the “cut waste, cut taxes, cut spending” line for decades because it sounds good and people really respond to it. unfortunately, one of the many cursed legacies of ronald reagan is that most people still think that balancing a government budget is like balancing a checkbook, and obviously that’s not true but it lends a lot of familiar comparisons and metaphors, so like… use them.
• don’t equivocate on “black lives matter” - it’s too important and too urgent - instead, give the non-activist liberals you already know the accessible language they can use to help normalize the phrase “black lives matter” in their own lives and encourage them to do so. they won’t convert the full-on blue lives matter cult members and other assorted balls-to-the-wall racists, but there are people in the middle who just need to hear a targeted explanation of why that isn’t a combative or controversial statement, and that totally depends on the individual… there’s the very basic 101-logicky “if saying ‘save the whales’ doesn’t mean you think dolphins can kick rocks, or if saying ‘spinach is a vegetable’ doesn’t mean that you think lettuce isn’t, why does ‘black lives matter’ imply that other lives don’t?” and i saw someone in the christians against trump group cite a brene brown quote they said (“In order for slavery to work, in order for us to buy, sell, beat, and trade people like animals, Americans had to completely dehumanize slaves. And whether we directly participated in that or were simply a member of a culture that at one time normalized that behavior, it shaped us. We can’t undo that level of dehumanizing in one or two generations. I believe Black Lives Matter is a movement to rehumanize black citizens. All lives matter, but not all lives need to be pulled back into moral inclusion. Not all people were subjected to the psychological process of demonizing and being made less than human so we could justify the inhumane practice of slavery.”) that made it click for them and they like to use to make it click for others, and there’s also this example that i think is probably pretty resonant for christians:

the point is, as with all the rest of this, that there are a lot of people out there who are alienated by the language (because there has been a billion-dollar media propaganda machine working overtime to make the language as alienating as possible) but not by the content of the argument. the right is SO good at messaging to its base by speaking their language, dog whistles and all. but because the democratic party is a coalition of moderates and liberals and leftists, you really have to be strategic about your messaging in a way that the right doesn’t. frankly, that’s why joe biden won - he made those same broad appeals to morality and civility and unity and prosperity that people want to hear. 

i realize that everyone feels that if you have the moral high ground, you shouldn’t have to put in work to persuade people because they should automatically grasp that you’re right, but like i said above, this is america, and it doesn’t work like that. we need to talk to people, not in buzzwords or in highly stigmatized language that risks turning them off immediately, but in language that already means something to them. if you want to persuade people you have to actually make things sound appealing to them, whether that means evoking warm and fuzzy mental images or appealing to their principles and moral convictions and religious beliefs or just doing your best to sound like the adults in the room. you gotta do this stuff to build a majority instead of just a plurality within this party, because that’s just what we need to win.

digitalessence:

Ancient Egyptian gods by Yliade.

gaymantle:

hyperactive-lectiophile:

hyperactive-lectiophile:

I had a weird and/or awesome idea for a bat family story.

I don’t think I’m gonna actually write it but I felt like sharing the outline and ideas for the story. This is a mix of a few continuities because I do what I want, and have trouble keeping everything straight. Feel free to add stuff or make suggestions. Now strap in cause I have some thoughts.

So this guy in Gotham is experimenting with transdimensional technology. Oracle discovers what he’s doing and how dangerous it is so she sends the bat family after him. Nightwing, Red Hood, Spoiler, Red Robin, Black Bat, and Robin go after this guy but he sets off a machine and transports them to a different dimension. The main difference of this dimension is that the Graysons never died which set off quite the chain of events, but our heroes don’t know that yet. Cut to this universe’s Batman finding a gaggle of people ranging from early teens to their twenties dressed in weird costumes smoking in a crater. Not to mention a few of them have bats on their chest. This Batman never had a partner outside of Alfred so when they try to explain who they are it doesn’t go great because Batman can’t even imagine working with one kid let alone six. Then he starts to realize a few of these people seem familiar.

In this universe, Dick would have lived with his parents a bit longer but would have eventually been taken by the Court of Owls to become their Grey Son and new talon. Bruce recognizes him after a while because he’s fought him before. It takes a little because he acts drastically different from his unfeeling counterpart in this universe but Bruce probably figures it out after seeing him do some acrobatics, or hears one of the others call him ‘Grayson.’ The realization is pretty jarring for Bruce and it’s really unsettling to see the cold soulless assassin he knows so full of life. He doesn’t tell the bat family that he knows his universe’s Grayson, because that’s totally something Batman would do and fun plot stuff later.

He doesn’t know who Jason is AT ALL. He still meets him the same way in this universe but doesn’t take him in. There’s no role of Robin to fill and he has no idea how to care for a child. Bruce does send him to the wayward school for boys but doesn’t really check up on him after that. The whole event becomes a sort of weird story like “remember that one kid who tried to steal tires off the batmobile?” What happens Jason afterward is harder to figure out. Maybe he became a low-level street criminal or a gang leader or ended up in jail. I can’t quite figure it out. What Batman does know is that the boy he meets is using the Joker’s old alias, carries a lot of guns, and looks like he won’t hesitate to use them. None of which is painting a very good picture. This could lead to a cool moment where Bruce, unaware of Jason’s Tragic Backstory™ and fragile truce with his family (Jason is gonna be a lot closer with his siblings in this au), yells at him for this and the others defend him.

Batman probably recognizes Spoiler first. Stephanie would have still gone after her father and created the spoiler persona, even without the inspiration of Robin. However, she wouldn’t have anyone to train her and Batman would be actively discouraging her from going out as Spoiler. That’s not going to stop Steph from being Spoiler but she probably doesn’t operate on a large scale like she does as part of the batfamily. Not only does she have to avoid villains in this universe but also Batman because he doesn’t think she should get involved in vigilante work and tries to stop her when he can. So he sees this version of Steph in a higher tech version of her Spoiler costume and is just so exhausted.

Tim still totally knows who Batman is in this universe. He may not have had Robin to compare to the Grayson’s acrobatics but he would have figured it out somehow. That’s where a lot of the similarities end though. Tim would still live with his parents (who are alive) and never really get involved with Batman directly. He became a vigilante because Batman needed a Robin, but here the role of Robin never existed. Tim probably still takes pictures of Batman and that hero worship never really went away. He’s also still an amazing detective even without any formal training. Bruce knows of Tim but doesn’t figure out how much he knows, or that Red Robin is an alternate version of him.

Bruce also doesn’t know who Cassandra is because he never met her. Her origin stays pretty much the same except she never joins the batfamily. She’d just be out on the streets doing her own thing, on the run from David Cain.

Now with Damian, things get interesting. Another slight change I’d like to make to the universe the batfamily land in is that Damian never left the League of Assasins. Damian has met and fought Batman on a few occasions but Bruse doesn’t know that Damian is his son. Partly because Damian keeps part of his face covered so he can’t see the resemblance. When he meets Robin he has a feeling he’s familiar but can’t quite place it. He realizes this is Talia’s son a little after he recognizes Grayson. Then there’s the really intense exchange of “You’re Damian Al Ghul” “No I’m Damian Wayne!” This is extremely shocking for Bruce because of the realization that he has a son. That son is in the League of Assassins! His mother is Talia al Ghul! He has met said son and didn’t even know it! It sets off all sorts of emotions.

As for the actual story, aside from just the general shenanigans of Bruce interacting with the children of his alternate self and trying to get them home, I was thinking that it would start with the alternate universe’s Tim. In this universe Tim is still a genius detective, he’s just not as good because he doesn’t have the training. So he would start poking around in Gotham and discover a huge conspiracy linked to the Court of Owls and decided to figure out just how powerful they are and how deep the conspiracy runs. Cause investigating an all-powerful organization completely on his own with no training is the type of stuff Tim does Batman or no Batman. He only recently discovered the court and is still investigating it when the batfamily show up so Batman isn’t aware Tim knows about the Court or that he’s been looking into them. The Court finds out about Tim’s investigation and send Talon to kill him. The bat family then have to protect this universe’s Tim from Talon, who is Dick. This causes a lot of angst, drama, and family bonding as the batfamily figure out how this universe is different from theirs. I’d love for the other members of the batfamily to get roped into the story somehow too but I’m not sure how. I feel like this story has a lot of potencail and couldn’t just leave it in my head. 

Random Funny Stuff for this au

Dick named a lot of the equipment and stuff Batman uses so in this universe things would probably be named very differently.

Tim: We’ll need to use the bat computer.

Alt Bruce: The what computer?

Tim: You know? The large computer set up in the cave?

Alt Bruce: Yeah but you called it the bat computer.

Tim: Well what do you call it?

Alt Bruce: The computer.

Tim: …..that just feels wrong.

Damian: Yes I know this part of the cave. This is where we keep Batcow.

Alt Bruce: Where you keep what?!

Alt Barbra: My name is Detective Barbra Gordon. Give me one good reason I shouldn’t arrest you all right now.

Jason: Looks like Babs is a Badass in every universe.

Dick: Did you expect any less?

Jason: Honestly? No.

Alt Jim Gordon: *Sees the batfamily* Oh dear god they’re multiplying.

During the Talon fight

Talon: I am the Grey Son of Gotham.

Stephanie: Dick, sweetie, I know you like wordplay but this is low even for you. Get some better material.

Jason: Damn Goldie! When you go dark you don’t fuck around!

Tim: I thought if one of my siblings was going to kill me it’d be Robin. But not you Nightwing, never you.

Dick: I appreciate the attempt at humor but can we please focus.

Alt Bruce: I think my alternate self has a problem with adoption.

Jason: THAT’S WHAT WE KEEP SAYING!!!!

Alt Damian: I heard the bat was working with new warriors but looking at you now I doubt you are even worthy to die by my blade.

*Entire batfamily is silent for a moment before bursting into uncontrollable laughter*

Damian: Do I really sound like that?

Tim: He’s even worse than when the brat first showed up! I didn’t even think that was possible!

UPDATE:

I’ve been thinking a lot about this au and have some more content for it.

On the angst side of things when they figure out what the main event that caused all these differences is Dick has to come to terms with the fact that his universe is better because his parents died.  Which hurts a lot and requires a lot of support from his siblings. Again the batfamily is a lot close in this au because I really love their dynamic.

Alt Tim is just fanboying throughout most of this story. He alternated between that and terror. He’s still an amazing detective even without training but he’s reckless. See where he went after a major conspiracy with no backup or training. He still has his hero worship of Batman, which the others find hilarious and slightly sad when they think about how that innocence faded. He completely fanboys over Red Robin and ask an insane amount of questions. For Tim, it’s like looking back on that really embarrassing phase in your life but now it’s both first AND second hand embarrassment. I think Alt Tim would be the one to figure out how to send them home.

Meeting Talon is kind of terrifying for the batfamily because of the emptiness in their older brothers eyes. I think Jason or Tim take it the best. Cass wants to scream because that is not how her brother should be moving. He should be dancing through the air full of joy, not the cold precision she sees in Talon. It hurts her immensely to see that they broke him like that. Steph is deeply unsettled by Talon. He’s to quiet, Dick is never quiet during a fight but Talon has barely said anything since they met and when he does talk she can tell the words aren’t his, not really. Damian takes it the worst. He wouldn’t let Nightwing go for 20 minutes after the fight. And on Talon’s end of things, it gets really crazy. Because everything before the court is pretty fuzzy with only a few clear things. Then he sees a kid in a very familiar color scheme being called Robin. It makes everything really confusing in his head. The guilt Bruce feels after realizing Nightwing is an alternate version of Talon is really strong. Because that’s what talon could have been. Full of life and joy. Before he always felt bad for talon but he was like the other rogues. It sucks what happened but he can’t save him so now he has to stop him. After meeting dick though, now he knows exactly what was destroyed when Talon was created.

It has come to my attention that there is a canon universe where Jason Todd became a priest and that’s too good to pass up. Imagine Alt Jason working at this run down church is one of the worst parts of Gotham trying to help people but like he’s not one of those like super strict priests he’s pretty chill and nice and is accepting of all, plus he has tattoos all over him and he talks about his own wrongdoings and is very open to everyone. In the main universe, Steph and Jason get along really well because they’re both on the ‘screw Batman’ team and exchange high levels of sass with each other. Seriously DC robbed us by not developing their relationship more. In the alternate universe, they’re pretty close too. Alt Jason’s the one helping Alt Steph fight crime as her support because every hero needs support and she doesn’t have the resources she’d have if Batman was helping her. The two met when Alt Steph was really hurt and he found her in a back alley and was like ‘there’s no way I can leave this kid here.’ Since he went to med school he knows how to stitch her up and lets her use the basement as a base. Those 2 meeting there doubled at some point would be crazy. Steph and alt Steph would have a great time with each other. Priest Jason interacting with the Red Hood is peak comedy and literally, none of the bat kids will stop teasing him.

At some point in the story, the league of Assassins gets involved. Alt Damian never left the league and Damian coming face to face with what he could have been is gonna be emotional. Robin has a terrible relationship with his mother but alt Damian probably has a great relationship with Talia. In this universe, Talia killed Ras after he nearly killed Damian for not winning a fight. Alt Damian probably views Robin as weaker than himself even though that’s not true. I’d like for Damian tell to tell alt Damian about how his mother killed him. I’m not sure how it comes up but I want it to. Alt Damian tries to reason that he wasn’t good enough but it sticks with him a lot more than he lets on. Like what if he’s not good enough? Would his mother kill him? Alt Talia is devastated by the information. When she first meets the batfamily she mostly just thinks they’re ridiculous and is quite offended by how they treat her. But after hearing what her double did to Robin she understands why Nightwing stepped in front of his brother with a fierce protectiveness in his eyes when she showed up and it breaks her heart to be considered a valid threat to any version of her son. Alt Talia also realizes that these people aren’t just colleges to Robin, they’re his family and she doesn’t know what to do with that. The batfamily mostly just try to comfort Damian through all this because they know he’s struggling. Although their version of comforting mainly consists of making fun of how dramatic and ridiculous his double is.

Alt Cass had been on the run from her father David Cain and around the start of the story Cain found her somehow and dragged her back to the league. During all the shenanigans with the league, the batfamily finds her. Alt Cass still doesn’t understand speech and is really confused by these strangers who treat her like family after only a few seconds. Black bat acts as an interpreter for alt Cass and tells her they’re here to help her. It’s probably the first time someone else communicated with her in such a clear way. They help her escape. Alt David tries to stop them but Black Bat absolutely destroys him in combat and gets a cool moment standing over him where she says “you are not my family.”

Bonus fluff to go with all those feels:

Another thing that happens in this au is alt Barbra flirts with Nightwing and he has an existential crisis because his girlfriend is hitting on him but she’s not his girlfriend and what does he do? Does he flirt back? Is he allowed to? Does he ignore it? What are the rules here?

Bruce is just in a constant state of panic and confusion during most of this for various reasons. Why are there so many? Why are some of them villains in his world? Why do they listen to Alfred more than him?

When the others get so protective of Jason he’s a little stunned because he knows his relationship with them is better but WOW.

Damian flips out at his double when he realises he’s not a vegetarian.

Alt Bruce: how did I even meet you?

Jason: I stole the tires off the batmobile.

Alt Bruce: wait you’re that kid?!?

Steph: I once slapped Batman.

Alt Steph: You’re my hero.

Feel free to add stuff!

@angie-leena told you there’d be more

@entitydark @gaymantle @bionic-egypt @crisjim @codenamed-queenie @lilyparmida @rayreyrei @batmans-left-boot 

Alt Damian: [disgusted noise] I see. The Bat must be truly desperate if he is now recruiting peasants to his cause.

Tim: [literally on the ground gasping for breath] Peasants. He called us peasants.

Jason: Technically, I was kidnapped.

Tim: He-he literally called us peasants!

Dick, solemnly: I’m so sorry, Dami. Without us… there was no one to teach you the sacred art of Quipping.

Damian: Never in my life have I been more thankful.

Alt Damian: You harbour thanks towards these weak, common knaves? These subpar shadows to an already subpar warrior? Truly, they have weakened you.

Damian: ‘Subpar’? Do you truly believe you are capable of besting us?

Alt Damian: I have bested the Bat. Of course I can defeat his weaker acolytes.

Tim: *wheeze*

Damian: I see. I suppose you are right.

Alt Damian: Oh? So you do admit I am superior to you.

Damian: I, too, would have difficulty taking seriously an opponent who does not come up to my knees, dressed in archaic armour and talking like…

Jason: He swallowed and shat out a Dostoevsky novel and then swallowed it again?

Damian: Disgusting.

Tim: A tool?

Damian: Yes. Thank you, Drake.

timelyenigma:

Don’t you dare forget Barbie’s Mass Effect

braindamage100:

you know what it’s barbie cinematic universe and we’re just living in it.

braindamage100:

Merlin BBC is just the best show for reveal fics, you got:

• Merlin has Magic 
• Merlin is Emrys/most powerful sorcerer ever 
• Merlin is immortal
• Druids are like, so close to worshipping Merlin
• Merlin is dragoon
• Merlin was the Dalma
• Merlin has a girlfriend
• Merlin’s girlfriend is the goddess of the afterlife and also water
• Arthur killed Merlin’s girlfriend
• Merlin’s dad was Balinor
• Merlin is a dragonlord
• The dragon/s are alive and well and living in Camelot
• The once-and-future-king thing and the implications of reincarnation or restriction 
• The entire prophecy thing
• Merlin/any knight or Mithian relationship reveal
• Mordred the adult is the same as the druid child (Arthur doesn’t remember)
• Mordred has magic
• Morgana has magic, is Arthur’s sister etc
• Gwaine is secretly noble
• reveals involving multiple characters already knowing merlin had magic
• Arthur was born using magic - Uther sucked more than he thought
• Merlin lied about Morgause lying about Arthur’s mum
• Merlin killed Nimueh
• Merlin has basically solved every magical problem Arthur has ever had

caffeinatedflumadiddlebutmerlin:

lancelotdeservedbetter:

caffeinatedflumadiddlebutmerlin:

Merlin headcanons bc I don’t feel like writing them but I do feel like talking about them:

- Merlin has “just in case” letters for all of his friends. They explain everything from the magic to his destiny to how sorry he is about everything. They also contain instructions what to do if he ever dies in terms of protecting Arthur, etc… He keeps them in the pages of his spell book.

- Several people have come across these letters. Most of Camelot is aware of all of Merlin’s secret but bc they think they are the only ones who have seen the letters nobody ever talks about it.

- Merlin is also allergic to blueberries. Coincidentally, this is his favorite food so Gaius and Lancelot are constantly trying to stop him from eating them. Arthur, who has no idea he isn’t supposed to eat blueberries but know that Merlin likes them, often shows backhanded affection by saying he DOESN’T like them and always giving them to Merlin. Lancelot is very stressed by this.

- Merlin brings Arthur flowers. It started after the prince’s “where are my flowers?” comment from one of the earlier episodes. Merlin brought him some out of spite. Then Arthur insisted he should get more out of spite. This continued until it became part of Merlin’s regular duties.

- Arthur is the one who gave Merlin that purple shirt he wears in later seasons. Historically, only royals wear purple so Arthur is like “yes, great prank. Everyone will think it’s so funny a servant is wearing royal colors” except the result is that everyone now thinks Merlin is a royal consort. Neither Merlin or Arthur ever realize this.

- Gwaine will fight anyone and everyone who pisses Merlin off. At one point he got in serious trouble for picking a fight with Agravaine once he realized Merlin suspected him of treason.

- Speaking of Gwaine, that sister he mentioned comes to visit him in Camelot at one point. It’s horribly awkward bc she is VERY clearly a noble and Arthur is like “????? How??? Gwaine is of common birth???” And Gwaine is just “This is why I freaking hate you, sister. I was undercover, damnit.”

- Merlin also takes advantage of the situation and becomes friend with Gwaine’s sister. Endless blackmail material. Always. Whenever Gwaine tries to tease Merlin it’s an immediate “YoUR sIStEr SaId-“ followed by an embarrassing story.

- Elyan is a little salty about everyone falling in love with his sister. Not because he’s overprotective or anything, but because “why isn’t everyone falling in love with me? I’m cute. I’m funny. I’m wise. It makes no sense.” And Gwen is just like “you’re a dumbass is why”

- Leon loves to reference things that happened before the rest of the knights came while giving very little (if any) context. Especially if it can embarrass Merlin or Arthur in anyway. Some of his comments include:

“My lord, you did not defy your father’s orders and save Merlin’s life within a week of knowing him to have him die mucking out the stables.”

“Merlin, stop saying you’ll quit your job. If Cedric couldn’t get rid of you than nobody can.”

“MY prince? Not a romantic? After he tried to marry Sophia within a day of knowing her?”

“Gwaine, you can say you serve a troll of a prince, but my queen was an actual troll so-”

“Ealdor? Oh, I’ve never been. Arthur didn’t invite me when he defied his father’s orders and risked war to rescue Merlin’s random village in the middle of nowhere.”

“We all know Merlin is a sorcerer. The witchfinder said so.”

“My lord, why are you telling Merlin he’s acting like a girl as if you didn’t lose a sword fight to Morgause.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about because that was an Arthur and Merlin quest. They don’t invite me, a mere experienced knight, to join them.”

That’s all for now. More are coming though lol

EDIT: I tried to do a “Keep Reading” break but tumblr hates me and it didn’t work so I’m sorry for making y’all scroll this long

Reblogging this again with @lancelotdeservedbetter’s addition bc I’m still laughing at it omg

earthlingsander:

starkcravingmad:

WHERE is my gallavich Stardust AU with Star Ian and Youngest Prince Mickey?!?

PLEASE I NEED THIS

Okay, so, King Terrance the Cruel is on his deathbed and throws out the magic necklace, so officially whoever has it will be the monarch next. The necklace knocks a star out of the sky. But then, everyone sees the star fall and Terry is like “Nevermind, whichever one of you useless fucks finds me the star and makes me immortal gets to live.” But legally, the necklace still makes one of them the crown prince. The siblings split up, each privately agreeing to just look for the necklace and not look for the star but not saying anything to each other, except for one (Colin or Joey or something) who still wants to do Terry’s bidding. Mickey has a protective snowdrop and a Babylon candle given to him by Mandy before she left several years ago. 

 Mickey is hot on the trail of the necklace and arrives at the Inn set up by Michelle Pfeiffer the Cannibal Witch like in the movie and due to plot reasons has to pick between the necklace and saving this very hot, mostly naked dude who the innkeepers wife is trying to murder? At the last second he uses a Babylon candle to take them “Home” and winds up on the Sky Pirate ship. They hook up pretty fast, and grow very close as weeks pass, but when Captain Shakespeare tells Mickey that Ian is a star by pointing out how he glows, Mickey ditches him, hoping that Ian will be safe and that once Mickey is king they could be reunited as any of his siblings could take Ian to his father if they found out. Mickey has no idea that most of his siblings want Terry dead as much as he does. 

Then Ian is heartbroken thinking that he’s been abandoned, and his glow goes out, so he decides to run away to find a way to get back to the sky. On the way, he finds out that Mickey’s dad is dying and wants the star to live forever and immediately concludes that Mickey was waiting for his dad to die before killing Ian himself (Ian very frequently thinks the worst of Mickey so don’t @ me). He gets spectacularly plastered and ends up blabbing his whole life story, and is captured by the one (1) rogue Milkovich sibling. He’s taken almost all of the way to the Capital when they encounter Mickey, who has successfully found the Kingmaker Necklace. Mickey attempts to rescue Ian from Colin and does, but is fatally stabbed. 

Ian sobs over Mickey as Mickey explains what was really going on, that Mickey was never going to kill Ian and doesn’t even want to be immortal, but then a lot of time passes and they realise that Mickey isn’t dead. Ian immediately realises that his love of Mickey has saved him but they have to run because they’re in the capital and Terry is still alive. Then they get a lift from Dishwater Frank with Ian planning for them to return once Terry is dead and Mickey can be crowned, and Mickey planning to find a way to return Ian home. 

catscraftsandcommentary:

morgynleri:

lullabyknell:

Fleur Delacour had the most impressive performance in the First Task of the Triwizard Tournament, imo, and it is a Crime that she came in last place. Like, sure, maybe what she did took awhile and it wasn’t flashy, but imo she did by far the most impressive, difficult, and most humane piece of magic. 

Like, there’s this pissed off dragon mother, right? It’s been boxed up, taken to this strange place, then stuck in a noisy arena where its eggs are being threatened. This dragon is probably Unbelievably scared and angry. 

It can take 4-8 adult wizards working in tandem to Stun a dragon, especially a pissed off one, but Fleur “fairy princess” Delacour walks into that arena, stares down an angry apex predator, and somehow manages to single-handedly enchant it to sleep. This Common Welsh Green is surrounded by hundreds of people, needs to protect its eggs, but Fleur Delacour’s magic manages to override all of its fear and anger? That is an incredible feat of powerful and probably very complex magic. 

Like, no wonder Fleur Delacour can come off as condescending, that is mind-blowingly impressive. That is the work of 4-8 adult wizards. You cannot tell me that the watching dragon-handlers were not LOSING THEIR MINDS. 

Between sexism and Fleur being part-Veela, it is unfortunately very realistic that she faces a lot of prejudice, but come on, Professors Sprout and Hagrid and etc. must have been going wild. It’s only some very bad luck that her skirt was accidentally set on fire. She got the golden egg. There was zero damage to the dragon or to the real eggs. Even if Madame Maxime and Fleur worked together to prepare it, Fleur still had to do it, and Madame Maxime would have been so rightly furious that Fleur’s bravery and magical skill wasn’t recognized. 

Anyway, part of where I’m going with this, is that this injustice also creates some choice eldest Weasley brother reactions. Like Bill Weasley is writing his regular letters to Charlie, right? And he happens to mention, “Hey, I met this woman at work, with that guardian beast problem with that tomb I was telling you about. Do you remember the Beauxbatons Champion, Fleur Delacour?” 

And Charlie Weasley writes back like, “DO I REMEMBER FLEUR DELACOUR? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WE HAVE A POSTER OF HER ON OUR WALL! I HAVE HER GRADUATING CHARMS THESIS ON CALMING MAGICAL CREATURES AND I WANT IT SIGNED. SHE REVOLUTIONIZED OUR DEALINGS WITH DRAGONS HERE. INJURIES ON THE RESERVE FOR DRAGONS AND HANDLERS ARE DOWN BY LIKE 75% SINCE WE BEGAN IMPLEMENTING HER SPELLWORK.” 

“Uh, alright then. Well, you can send that to me and I will ask her to sign it for you,” Bill Weasley, an extremely successful Curse-Breaker, writes back. (It isn’t that he doesn’t find Fleur Delacour accomplishments very impressive, it is just that the poster on the wall thing is a Bit Weird.) “That’s not going to be weird when I ask her out or anything. Wish me luck.” 

And Charlie writes back, “LUCK? LUCK?! WILLIAM WEASLEY, IF YOU DON’T MARRY THAT WOMAN, I’LL DISOWN YOU. TELL HER THAT IF GRINGOTTS DOESN’T APPRECIATE HER, SHE CAN COME TO ROMANIA. WE’RE BROKE, BUT I HAVE A DOZEN MUSCLED WIZARDS, WITCHES, AND OTHERS READY TO PROPOSE TO HER ON THE SPOT.” 

“I was thinking dinner first,” Bill writes back. “But I’ll let her know?” 

So, Fleur initially has to deal with a lot of crap from the Weasley Family, but at least she’s always got Charlie “Number One Fleur Delacour Fan” Weasley in her corner. You’ll catch Uncle Charlie excitedly telling the story of Fleur Delacour in the First Task to Bill’s children forever. 

(Charlie: “IF YOU DON’T MARRY HER THEN I WILL!” 

Bill: “Charlie, you’re not even into women.” 

Charlie: “WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MOST IMPRESSIVE DRAGON-HANDLING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE?!!”)

@deadcatwithaflamethrower - thought you might like to see this. :D

After Bill and Fleur get married, Charlie begs to take her into the office. At first she’s like “uuuuuuuh…” because she’s so used to people fawning over her, hitting on her, being crude, and being married (ESPECIALLY being married to a werewolf) HAS NOT stopped that.

They get in, Charlie whistles to get everyone’s attention, Fleur draws her haughtiness around her like a cloak, Charlie yells “FLEUR DELACOUR-WEASLEY!”

The place goes BANANAS. Everyone’s wanting to shake her hand, compliment her spellwork, talk about how much her tricks have SAVED THEIR ASS…

It’s the first time she can remember that being part veela was 1000% IRRELEVANT. And she LOVES IT.

And yes, they take a group photo which gets framed in pride-of-place beside her (now signed) poster.